“Would the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up immediately? They are beating the Cubs 4-0 in the 7th inning.”
Radio deejay

“The only bad thing about being released by the Cubs is that they made me keep my season tickets.”
Ken Rietz, ex-Cub third baseman

“The Cubs were taking batting practice, and the pitching machine threw a no-hitter.”
Radio deejay

“You get tired of looking at garbage in your own backyard.”
Cubs manager Lee Elia in 1983 about why the Cubs got rid of so many players. Elia was fired later that same season.

“There’s nothing wrong with this team that more pitching, more fielding and more hitting couldn’t help.”
Bill Buckner