Why don’t the Cubs have a website?

• Because they can’t get 3 “W’s” in a row.

A new version of an old classic…

THE CHOKIN’ CREW SHUFFLE (SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE)
WE ARE THE CUBS CHOKIN’ CREW
CHOKIN’ AGAIN LIKE WE ALWAYS DO
WE’RE SO BAD, NOT VERY GOOD
CHOKIN’ AGAIN LIKE YOU KNEW WE WOULD
WE DIDN’T THINK WE’D HAVE NO TROUBLE
UNTIL THE METS AND THE REDS BROKE OUR BUBBLE
UH HUH UH HUH

YOU ALL KNOW ME
MY NAME IS SAMMY
AS A PLAYER
I’M JUST A BIG HAMMY
I STILL DON’T THROW
TO THE RIGHT BASE
BUT WHY DO THE FANS
GET ON MY CASE?

NO MORE STEROIDS
IN MY BOOTY
SO NOW I PLAY LIKE A
PIECE OF HORSE ! DOODY

I DIDN’T THINK
I’D HAVE NO TROUBLE
BUT I’M A BIG PART
OF THE CHOKIN’ CREW SHUFFLE
UH HUH UH HUH

I PLAY LEFT FIELD
MY NAME’S ALOU
I PISS ON MY HANDS
THEN I EAT MY OWN POO

ALL THE UMPS
ARE OUT TO GET ME
NO BARTMAN THIS YEAR
SO I’LL BLAME STONEY

I DIDN’T THINK
I’D HAVE NO TROUBLE
BUT I’M A BIG PART
OF THE CHOKIN’ CREW SHUFFLE
UH HUH UH HUH

MY NAMES LATROY
AND MAN I’M STINKY
THAT’S WHY I’M
NO LONGER A TWINKIE

WHEN I TRY AND CLOSE
I ALWAYS CHOKE
ME AS A CLOSER
THAT’S A BIG JOKE

I DIDN’T THINK
I’D HAVE NO TROUBLE
BUT ! I’M A BIG PART
OF THE CHOKIN’ CREW SHUFFLE
UH HUH UH HUH, UH HUH HUH HUH HUH

HEY EVERYBODY
IT’S ME, IT’S KERRY
ME IN A BIG GAME
MAN THAT’S SCARY

I NEVER WIN
WHEN THE PRESSURE’S HIGH
IF THEY HAD ANY BRAINS
THEY’D TRADE ME
BYE BYE

I DIDN’T THINK
I’D HAVE NO TROUBLE
BUT I’M A BIG PART
OF THE CHOKIN’ CREW SHUFFLE
UH HUH UH HUH

I’M NOMAR AND
I HAVE A BIG NOSE
AND MIA ALWAYS TELLS ME
I’VE GOT AN ITTY BITTY HOSE

THE BOSOX KNEW
SO THEY SENT ME AWAY
AND THEY GOT BETTER
THE VERY NEXT DAY

I DIDN’T THINK
I’D HAVE NO TROUBLE
BUT I’M A BIG PART
OF THE CHOKI! N’ CREW SHUFFLE
UH HUH UH HUH UH HUH HUH HUH HUH

NOW LOOKY HERE EVERYBODY
THIS IS DUSTY
I’M THE GREAT SAVIOR
BUT MY TEAMS ALWAYS GO BUSTY

MY TEAMS NEVER WIN
AND HERES THE REASON
AS A MANAGER I SUCK
SEASON AFTER SEASON

I DON’T KNOW NOTHIN’
‘BOUT THE PITCHIN’
AND MY PLAYERS ARE RIGHT
TO ALWAYS BE BITCHIN’

THREE STRAIGHT YEARS
MY TEAMS HAVE CHOKED
BUT WHAT DO I CARE
CUB FANS ARE TOO F’N
DUMB TO FIGURE IT OUT ANYWAY
UH HUH UH HUH!

I thought the Cubs were supposed to win the World Series in 2004? Ooooops. Thanks for the most recent submission below!