Bicycle
If you see a cubs fan on a bicyle why should you never serve and hit him?
- There’s a good chance it’s your bicycle!!!!
2006 Cubs Promotional Schedule
April 7: Home Opener and raising of the “Attendance Flag” to commemorate the magical 2005 season in which the Cubs were a bigger draw than any of their hated rivals. Not being raised: World Series Champions flag.
April 8: Presentation of the “Nice Neighborhood” rings to members of The 2005 squad in commemoration of their capturing of the city’s heart by playing in such a cute little part of town. Not being presented: World Series Champions rings.
April 9: Home Opener Weekend festivities conclude with the Cardinals completing a sweep of the Cubs at Wrigley.
April 24: Win a Mark Prior autographed picture! 100 lucky fans will receive a 5 x 7″ photo signed by the Cubs’ 11-game winner!
April 25: Turn Back the Clock I with throwback jerseys, old-time music and special guests and relive the magic of the Cubs’ epic loss to the Florida Marlins in the 2003 NLCS.
May 13: Turn Back the Clock II with authentic 1984 uniforms jerseys and an even-more-authentic loss to the 1984 NLCS champion San Diego Padres.
May 14: Precious Moments figurine doll to the first 10,000 female fans*.
June 15: Kerry Wood bobblehead day. The first 10,000 fans will receive a bobblehead doll of the Northsiders’ all-time leader in simulated strikeouts!
June 16: Turn Back the Clock III – Kick off a rematch of the Cubs’ most recent World Series appearance as they welcome the Detroit Tigers and try to beat them for the first time since 1945.
June 30: Crosstown Amnesty Day – All managers and first 25 players on the White Sox active roster will receive a complimentary win.
July 1: Turn Back the Clock IV – 1906 World Series rematch. Authentic memorabilia will be given out to lucky Cub fans, as will an authentic 1906-style massacre of their lovable losers.
July 2: Lovable Loser Day – First 15,000 losers get to fall in love with the Cubs even more as they are handed yet another staggering loss at home by yet another area team that has built something more substantial than their own ticket-scalping empire**.
July 14: Harry Caray Day, featuring an all-star tribute to the late and beloved former White Sox and Cardinals announcer.
August 1: Nine Games Back Day – First 10,000 fans in attendance to correctly explain what “Nine Games Back” means receive a Cubs t-shirt***.
August 19: Playoff Day. Come out and root for the Cubs as they stand on the brink of elimination against the Cardinals with forty-one games still left to play in the season. First 20,000 fans wearing Cubs gear receive a White Sox t-shirt.
September 2: Turn Back the Clock V – Cubs fans, come out and party like it’s 1989 in this showdown against the 1989 NLCS champion San Francisco Giants!
October 1: Final Home Game / Wait ‘Til Next Year Day – First 39,538 fans are idiots.
Courtesy of Andrew Reilly
2006 Cubs Themes
What is the Chicago Cubs theme for 2006?
- No Rings, No Championship, No problem!
- Wrigley Field…come and smell the history!
- Hey, it’s something to do.
- Lakeview’s hottest singles bar
- Your chance to see a Purdue girl puke!
What Game?
Three baseball fans were sitting in a bar. One was a Cardinal fan, one a Cub fan and one a White Sox fan. They were arguing about what a day at the ball park was all about it.
The White Sox fan said, “Why it means an animated Ozzie leading his team to victory, the smell of hot dogs, hearing the crack of the bat and seeing if Steve Dahl can squeeze his fat egomaniacal lard ass into one seat.”
The Cardinal fan argued, “Yeah, that maybe true, but there is nothing like sitting in a sea of Red, surrounded by Cardinal fans young and old cheering them on to victory.”
After that there was silence. The Sox fan and the Cardinal fan waited, and finally asked the Cub fan what a day at the ballpark meant to him, to which the Cub fan scratched his brow and thought about it. Finally he retorted, “There is nothing like sitting in beautiful Wrigley field, talking on your cell phone while trying to get on TV, watching all the Michigan State frat boys get drunk and hit on chicks with big hooters and singing take me out to the ball game.”
The Cardinal fan said, “well what about the game! Isn’t the whole reason for going is to see a baseball game?”
The Cub fan sat and finally answered, “game? what game?”
Scrubs
How come all cubs fans are scrubs?
- Because you can’t spell scrubs without cubs!
