A Cincinnati Reds fan, a Chicago Cubs fan, and a St. Louis Cardinals fan were all in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the U.S. Army. While off base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they were sentenced to death! With the help of good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, a benevolent Sheik decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, “It’s my 1st wife’s birthday today, and she asked me to allow each one of you one wish before your whipping.”

The Reds fan was 1st in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, “Please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Reds fan was carried away bleeding and crying. The Cub fan was up next (he almost finished an entire 5th by himself), and after watching the scene, said “OK please fix 2 pillows to my back.” But even 2 pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Cub fan crying like a baby. The Cardinals fan was the last up (he had finished off the case), but before he could say anything the Sheik turned to him and said, “You support the greatest baseball team in the world. Your team’s fans are the best and most loyal in the world. Because of this, you may have 2 wishes.” “Thanks, your most royal highness” the Cardinals fan replied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”

“Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave,” said the Sheik. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?” the Sheik asked.

“Tie the Cub fan to my back.”

You would think being bad would get old. Well it doesn’t for the Cubs. They have found so many ways to lose this year it isn’t funny. Tuesday night was no exception. The Cubs took a one run lead into the 9th inning, things looked good for the Cubbies this time, but wait! Dempster came in and gave up 4 runs and the Cubs made 2 crucial errors. Ouch. Oh well, another day in the life of a Cubs player I guess.

Dempster stated, “If this is rock bottom, I guess we hit it.”

Something tells me that this is STILL not rock bottom for this team. The Cubs have now lost five in a row and are challenging the Pirates for the bottom of the NL Central.

What do the Chicago Scrubs and the St. Louis Cardinals have in common?

• Neither team has won a World Series in their new stadium!!

They say that there is nothing easier than taking candy from a baby. Wrong! Being from Chicago I know that there is nothing easier than taking MONEY from a Cub Fan………..Babies fight back.

Submitted by Terry Dr. Rock Svejda

There is a must read in the Daily Herald titled, “More bang for the buck? Not these Cubs”.  It discusses how overpaid the current Cubs are and how inefficient management is with the money at hand.  Glendon Rusch, Neifi Perez, Jaques Jones, and Juan Pierre lead the list of overpaid Cubs.  Take a look at the entire article here.