The freakin sucky Cubs are like an online slot machine.  Each day they march out onto the field and you just never know what you are going to get.  Much like yanking the slot machine lever with hopes of getting something great, only to be disappointed by the suckiness thats to follow.  Sure, you might hit a few jackpots and play in the positive for a while, but in the end, everything sucks and you just lose it all.  Likewise, the Cubs may win a few here or there along the way.  But when it’s all said and done… They are losers and will continue the losing tradition.

Ok, now that I’ve done this comparison I want to invite all you Cubs Suck members to a FREE slot tournament.  They are giving away a $150,000 prize pool.  $65k to the winner.  You are crazy NOT to just get an account, and register for FREE, and spin the slots a few times to see what you hit.  You  hit a jackpot and you may be thanking me for telling you about this.  Or, more likely you won’t hit a thing and be out an hour of your time.  Anyways, it starts here in May and runs for a few weeks.  It is FREE.  $65,000 to the winner… Here is how:

1. Download the software
2. Register for a “real money” account
3. GO to tournaments and Register for the May Flowers FREEROLL

See all you haters on the leaderboard.  If you win it remember me!

What a great day at the ballpark yesterday.  As we said the day before, Pujols is still God.  He hit a grandslam late in the game to give the Cardinals an 8-1 win!  The Cubs just ARE NOT THAT GOOD!  They can’t hit, their bullpen sucks, and the starting pitching is not living up to the “hype”.  How sad, check out the scene outside of the stadium last night after the Cardinals waxing of the lovable losers.

So now the Chubs are trying to avoid a sweep to the first place Cardinals.  Harden @ Wellemeyer is the matchup this afternoon.  Expect much of the same as we’ve seen the first two days and for the Redbirds to complete the…

Where are all the Cub faithful?  The sheep just aren’t out in flocks right now which brings up my point from the other day on Twitter.  When does it just become NOT FUN anymore picking on this team because they are just plain bad.  At some point they almost become laughable and not worth the jokes.  Cub fans… It’s MELTING!!!!!!!!

Boo Cubs Boo, Boo Cubs Boo, Hey Chicago what do ya say… The Cubs are gonna LOSE today!

How about them Chubbies.  I’d say it was not a good night for them.  First, the Cardinals take it to them winning 4-3 and moving 3 games ahead of the lovable losers.  Secondly, Marmol goes down with a bum knee and Aramis goes down with some wuss injury.  UH OH.  Third, have you fans realized yet that your team CAN NOT HIT.  DLee sucks… Soto sucking… And on and on.

Well, yours truly is heading to STL tomorrow for the game.  I’ll be “tweeting” from my phone so you Cubs Suck junkies be sure to follow us on Twitter.  It’s quite amusing actually and it flatters me to see hundreds if not thousands of Cub haters across the nation jump on board the loser bandwagon.  Follow us here! Also, if you are at the game feel free to twitter us during the game… Would love to hear from you!

One last thing.  Albert Pujols is a God.  He does it all.  He mashes, he hits for average, he steals bases, saves runs in the field… Ultimate team player.  Cub players take note at how baseball is supposed to be played from THE MACHINE.

Marshall vs. Boggs tomorrow – Go Cardinals, Boo Cubs!

Well our behated Cubbies lost game one of their first “rival” series with the Cardinals yesterday.  Did you expect anything different?  They are the Cubs?  So the Cardinals decided that the Cubs suck SO BAD that they would throw a rookie pitcher today against Zambrano.  Not only a rookie – but his first ever MLB start.  Shows how little respect Tony Larussa and crew have for ZamDumbo who is on the mound for the Cubs today.

Anyone going to the game?  Expect more Cubs Sucktastic Tweets during todays afternoon fest.  What are the odds that Milton Bradley (let’s start going with Milton BADley) will be thrown out of the game again today? Heck the freakin umpire is filing a report on BADley.  Tough day for Cubs fans I’m sure.  Have you figured out yet that your team is JUST NOT THAT GOOD??????

The first place Cardinals travel to the dump for a four game series starting tomorrow.  The Redbirds are 7-3 and sitting atop the NL Central while the Cubs are now 5-3.  Anyone else ready for this rivalry to begin?  Anyone else ready for a little Cardinal pounding?  Actually at Wrigley I’ll take the split – but a SWEEEEEEEEEEEEP would be nice as well.  Here is a little preparation to get you Cub haters geared up for this weekend.  Forward this onto your buddies!  Also, I will be “twittering” a lot of Cubs Sucky updates during this four game series so Add CubsSuckClub on Twitter and RE-Tweet it all to your friends!