Here are the new lyrics to the Cubs song:

Choke Cubs choke!
Choke Cubs choke!
Hey Chicago what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna lose today!

Choke Cubs choke!
Choke Cubs choke!
Hey Chicago what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna lose today!

They have the lack of power and speed
to be the worst in the National League
The Cubs are gonna lose today
They will never go all the way

Choke Cubs choke!
Choke Cubs choke!
Hey Chicago what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna lose today!

Choke Cubs choke!
Choke Cubs choke!
Hey Chicago what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna lose today!

The Cubs fans know their fate is sealed
Still you’ll find them at Wrigley Field
They’re tuning in to WGN
To watch the Scrubbies lose again

Choke Cubs choke!
Choke Cubs choke!
Hey Chicago what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna lose today!

Choke Cubs choke!
Choke Cubs choke!
Hey Chicago what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna lose today!

Anyone want to put these to a video? Or sing them and send us a clip?

KFC has offered Steve Bartman, the man who ultimately prevented the Cubs from
entering the World Series in 2003, an invitation to STAY HOME! KFC will supply
Bartman with a Phillips Limited Edition 42″ 3-Pixel-Plus High-Definition LCD TV
and a KFC feast so that he watches ALL Cubs post season games from the comfort
of his own living room and gives the Cubs a chance to win the world series
after 99 years.

Below please find the letter that KFC sent to Bartman. Please let me know if
you need any other information.

October 5, 2007

An open letter to Steve Bartman:

As you know, the chatter about black cats, billy goats and curses has returned
to the Windy City.

But like you (knock on wood) we don’t believe in hexes. And we don’t play
the blame game. In fact, we’d rather lick fingers than point them.

But just to be safe, on behalf of die-hard Cub fans everywhere, we’d like to
make you an offer we hope is too good to refuse.

If you promise to watch your beloved team from the comfort of your own couch,
KFC will provide you with the “Ultimate Stay At Home Party Pack.” It’ll
include a feast of the Colonel’s World Famous Chicken plus all the side
items, and your very own Limited Edition 42″ 3-Pixel-Plus High-Definition LCD
TV.

Take us up on this offer and maybe the 07 playoffs will be remembered for a
feast of fowl at your home, rather than a foul ball at Wrigley Field.

After going 99 years without a World Series title, we think this KFC offer
could potentially be Cubdom’s secret recipe for success. We look forward to
hearing from you. Enjoy the playoffs and here’s hoping for some good luck in
‘07!

Sincerely,

Gregg Dedrick
President, KFC Corporation

This is to all of you Cub Fans (a.k.a Sheep) who are wondering why you are called sheep. Thanks to cardsfan for the definition:

You are called sheep because you blindly follow that sorry assed team known as the Laughable Losers. You follow them season after season although invariably they lead you to the slaughterhouse season after season. Dumb, blind sheep who still think that the Losers are the greatest team on Earth even after nearly 100 years of mediocrity. You gather in flocks and proclaim yourselves the best fans in Baseball Nation BECAUSE you blindly follow that sorry assed team season after season. You’re called sheep because you act like stupid sheep.

You do stupid things like guarantee a Scubby WS title. You aren’t smart enough to say something like “The Scubs have improved themselves and could contend this year.” No, instead you say “The Losers will win the WS”. You say stupid things like “If Crior gets healthy, he’ll win 20 games and take the Losers to a WS title” instead of saying “Maybe this year Crior can stay healthy and win a few games.” You say “What do you do after the Scubs DO win the World Series?” instead of saying “IF the Scubs were to win the WS”. You know, dumb, stupid sheeplike things. You leave yourselves no out. You make ridiculous predictions and end up eating crow. You walk around all puffed up and proud even when the Losers are 15 games out and 20 under. You know, dumb stupid sheeplike stuff. You mouth and mouth and keep on mouthing just like the flock of sheep that you are.

Attention, Cubs fans’ new book on the 1908 season is just out. (I know because I wrote it). It’s called Crazy ‘08′ How a cast of cranks, rogues, boneheads and magnates created the greatest year in baseball history (HarperCollins, $24.95; foreword by Robert Creamer). The Chicago Tribune reviewed it warmly on March 18, and Sports Illustrated liked it, too (the March Madness cover). Go to crazy08.com for more.

The book takes you from the end of the 1907 World Series, through to spring training, all the way to the Merkle game and then to the replay of the Merkle game. The Cubs, of course, are front and center, with the Giants in second place (just as they were that season) but the almost equally fabulous American League race also gets covered. Moreover, I try to give an idea of what America was like at the time, with short essays on things like Chicago politics, anarchism, the City Beautiful, race in baseball, and the financial panic of ‘07.

The Cubs of this era were the 20th century’s first dynasty, winning four pennants and two World Series in five years. They were renowned for the fire of their play and the toughness of their spirit. These Cubs just may be the finest National League team of the 20th century and 1908 is their finest hour. At least, that’s my case, and I’m sticking to it.

Cait Murphy

I read in a prominent medical journal the other day that doctors in Chicago recommend that parents should not allow their children to win at board games.  It turns out that beating your child mercilessly at Candy Land will prepare them for a life filled with losing as a Cubs fan.