Cubs Suck Club » Cubs Suck Features

Cubs Joke: Guy and Virgin Girl Get Married

webmaster — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:49:46 +0000

The following Cubs Suck joke was sent to us via Facebook.

A guy gets married and is waiting for his wife on his honeymoon. She walks out of the bathroom in a flimsy little lingerie and says, “Now be gentle, I’m a virgin.” The guy says, “I’m your fourth husband….how can you be a virgin?” The woman says, “Well, my first husband turned out to be gay and he wouldn’t do it. My second husband was an acoholic and he couldn’t do it. And my third husband was a Cub fan. He kept saying, ‘Wait till next year…wait till next year!’

Cubs Tell Pujols He Doesn’t Have to Work in the Fall

webmaster — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 06:35:48 +0000

This is one of my all-time favorite Cubs Suck cartoon images. Thanks to whoever sent it to me and a special thanks to whoever created it!

Cubs Suck Video of the Day

webmaster — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 15:18:28 +0000

Check out this hilarious “Cubs Suck” related video done by the Heckler. This is classic!!!

Jim Hendry Fired as Cubs GM – About Time

webmaster — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 15:36:05 +0000

It’s about time that Jim Hendry (The GM of the Cubs Suck) got fired! The announcement came out today that Jim Hendry is done as the Cubs GM. So what does this mean Cub fans or haters? Will the Cubs be contenders in 2012 under new general manager leadership? Who will the replacement Cubs GM be? See ya Jim Hendry. As a Cub Hater we all hate to see you go!

Cubs Suck Cartoon – Home and Away

webmaster — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 20:17:03 +0000

Check out the awesome Cubs Suck cartoon done by Steve Sicula:

Carlos Zambrano Retires from the Cubs – and Baseball

webmaster — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 02:46:20 +0000

Apparently Carlos Zambrano, the “idiotic” pitcher from the Chicago Cubs has retired. He has cleaned out his locker and retired from the Cubs and baseball all together.

We don’t have a lot on this story yet. But it’s a perfect ending to this Cubs / Zambrano love hate relationship. Zambrano may come back and play for another team some day – but he sure won’t play for the Cubs again.

Cubs Suck and always will. More to come on this story about Carlos Zambrano retiring soon.

Ryan Dempster Imitates Legendary Harray Caray

webmaster — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:33:32 +0000

Obviously the Cubs players don’t have anything better to focus on or worry about in the 2011 season. Take a look at starting pitcher, Ryan Dempster, as he takes time out to do the starting lineup “Harray Caray” style. I will give it to him – he does a pretty good Harray Caray impersonation.

Cardinals Sweep Cubs – Zambrano Embarrassed of 2011 Team

webmaster — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 13:24:54 +0000

As the days go, the pages continue to be written about how bad the Chicago Cubs organization sucks. Is Zambrano finally realizing what the rest of the world already knows? This team is EMBARRASSING to the rest of the world of baseball. To us it’s humorous. To fans, owners, players – it’s embarrassing. Ok first things first! SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! The Cardinals took care of business this weekend in St. Louis and swept the Cubs.

Pujols Back to Back Walkoffs

It’s no secret that Albert Pujols has not been himself this year. But this series against the Cubs he was alive! Saturday’s game was a hard fought game. The Chubbies showed a little fight. Bottom 11 rolls around and Albert Pujols comes to the plate. BOOOOOOM. Outta here. Walkoff homerun. Cubs lose!

So after this game manager of the Cubs, Quade, or whatever the heck his name is said he wouldn’t let Pujols beat them again. At least not for 24 hours. Ha. Pujols comes up AGAIN in Sundays game. Nobody on. Nobody out. Game tied in the bottom of the 10th. So timeout here. I just laid out the situation for you. What do you do if you are manager?

Make it very very clear to your pitcher to NOT give Pujols anything to hit?
Intentionally walk him because you know you will be roasted if Pujols beats you again?
Groove a fastball and hope for the best?

Ding Ding Ding. #3 is the winner. Pujols destroyed a perfect hitters pitch over the fences for his second walkoff in as many days. Take a look!

Zambrano Embarrassed By 2011 Cubs

So after the game the fiery Carlos Zambrano clearly wasn’t happy with how things turned out for the sorry Cubs. Listen in to how embarrassed he is with this 2011 Cubs team.

Cubs Suck – The End

I’ll leave you with one thing. That’s 6 in a row losses. It’s pretty safe to start saying, “Wait til Next Year.” Cubs Suck and get your brooms out!!!

2011 Cubs Season Timeline

webmaster — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 02:54:05 +0000

Picture courtesy of The Cub Reporter

The Cubs Suck – THE END!

BuckeyeLakerCub — Sun, 29 May 2011 03:34:16 +0000

The following post is written by our Cubs Fan friend who just finds the urge to rant about his team from time to time. Today was one of those times.

With a record of 22-28, the Cubs are 2 games worse than they were last year after 50 games. The similarities are endless. Both teams are playing like crap. High priced veteran players are sucking. No one is playing with any desire. And management isn’t doing anything to fix it. And with that, it’s time that Ricketts started to clean house. Fire Jim Hendry, and start unloading some salaries.

Hendry is a terrible GM who doesn’t know what he’s doing. The Cubs continue trotting out these lousy, unproductive veterans. They are trying to win now and in the future, and are doing a lousy job at both. This is like 2006 all over again. Dump the veterans who are playing with no heart, and play the kids. The season is over, so look to the future and develop some young talent. If the Cubs can’t unload the salaries, then bench them. The Cubs suck. The end. Is football here yet?