Derrek Lee, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Cubs flag in the window. “This house is yours for eternity, Derrek.” God said. “This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here.” Derrek felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3 story mansion with a silver and black sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flag pole with an enormous White Sox flag, and in every window a white Towel. Derrek looked at God and said, “God, I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-star first baseman, won some gold gloves, and even though the Cubs never won a World Series, I went into the Hall of Fame.” God said, “So what’s your point Derrek?” “Well, why does Ozzie Guillen get a better house than me?” God chuckled, and said, “Derrek, that’s not Ozzie’s house, it’s mine.”