Let’s Recap the Recent Cubs Suckiness

cubs-suck-beer-dude

So this years Chicago Cubs team is just sucking so bad and so often it’s impossible to keep up.  We want to recap this last weeks events in one post and show all you haters just how sucky things are getting for the Lovable Losers and their fans.

  • Crazy, moronic, Cub sheep (errr fan) decides it would be cool to dump beer on Shane Victorino’s head. Unfortunately, Shane and the rest of the world didn’t think this was such a great idea.  Victorino filed charges on this dude.  This guy fled the stadium and later turned himself in.  Now, only at Wrigley would you see this type of crap.  The drunk fans that have no clue or care how the team is doing… They just want to stir something up.  Typical Cub fan.  We stayed away from this story quite a bit but Deadspin pounded it.  So here are some links about this pathetic excuse for a baseball fan.

Stay Classy
Beer-Tossing
Confronted
Inspiration

So who is going to make us a Cubs Suckcessory out of this idiots picture!  I can think of some creative sayings.

  • Gregg implodes again and loses closer role. It was becoming almost comical when Kevin Gregg would enter the game in a Cubs 9th inning game.  This dude would give up walks, runs, homeruns, and most importantly, GAMES!  Every single time this guy would make it interesting.  Gregg is horrible and should have been out as the Cubs closer last month… Ok, well he never should have been the closer but that is besides the fact.  Finally, last week after Gregg gave up another one of his notorious walk-off homeruns – Lou and crew pulled the plug on Gregg as the closer and are now going with Marmol.  Yeah because he has been so much better.  Must suck to have a sucky bullpen!
  • Carlos Zambrano has been lazy? I don’t have much to say but read this quote and tell me why the Cubs and Zambrano DON’T SUCK!

“My problem is I’ve been lazy,” a contrite Zambrano said. “There are things in life you don’t like to do, but you have to do them. I don’t like abs [abdominal muscle workouts], but I have to do them. I have to start doing them every day and be serious about it.”

Doctors are convinced stronger abdominal muscles will ease the pain on back discs, one of which is bulging and has caused Zambrano pain on and off for a few years.

“I’ve got to be honest with me and with you [media] guys and the fans. I’m 28 years old, I’m not 16 anymore,” Zambrano said. “I’m a big guy and I work hard every day, [but] one of the things I don’t like to do is my abs, my core work. If I do abs every day and keep doing my job and be serious about my abs, I’ll be OK.”

  • Sweet Lou gets nailed for jaywalking. Ok so he didn’t get nailed but Lou Piniella got a “warning” for jaywalking in San Diego.  Hilarious!
  • The Cubs are now down 6 games. It seems they can’t beat anyone and the Cardinals can beat everyone.  They just struggled with the Padres and now have to face the Dodgers for a series.  UH OH.  It’s do or die (ok, DIE) time for the Chubs this weekend.  They get down more than 6 games and we’ll all be shouting, “THEY GONE!”   And you lovable Cubs sheep will be crying about all the injuries and how we will now have to “wait til next year.”  It’s a broken record.  But hey, at least you have a song to make you feel better every now and then.  LOL!

Pile it on Cubs haters!


Cub haters! Talk smack about the terrible Cubs on our Facebook Page!



78 comments so far

  1. ZambranoMowsMyLawn
    #1

    Im actually scared to see what the dodgers will do to the poor little bear cubs…they just lost 2 of 3 to one of the worst teams in baseball…and on the other side the cardinals lose one game every two weeks it seems like…what the difference between a dynasty and a wannabe… oh thats right, no curse and about 8 world series rings

  2. cardsfan
    #2

    I’m not scared. I’m looking forward to it. I hope the Dodgers have Scub meat for dinner every night. I want the Scubs dead and buried by next week even if not by the Cards, though that would be the ultimate of course.

    I don’t know who’s funnier over on the Scub MLB board, the doomsdayers or the kool aid drinkers, but both groups are totally hilarious.

    On a side note and OT, Manny in the outfield is quite hilarious himself. You think those dreadlocks weigh him down too much?

  3. cubswillchoke
    #3

    Manny is an awful fielder, but the next best hitter to Pujols. I’d be happy with Manny in the outfield if we didn’t have Holliday out there already.

  4. hpencefan18
    #4

    WOOHOO! A grand slam by Russell Martin! Atta way Dodgers! Keep sucking it up scubbies!

  5. soxfanforever
    #5

    It’s all but officially over! The Goat is getting ready to bleet!

  6. white rat
    #6

    most of the talking heads on 670 the score are calling every scrub game from here on out as a must win. ronnie woo woo is on suicide watch! i can’t believe they still play that sound bite in between innings on the radio of woo woo yelling ” this is the year”! that sounds more hilarious now than it did at the start of the season. i love how the other teams are walking the players in front of sorry-a-hole to get to him! it was fun watching him hit stuff in the dug-out with his bat after striking out again. guess he wanted to put some wood on something!

  7. cubswillchoke
    #7

    soriano is a stud!!!!

  8. cardsfan
    #8

    Let’s see…if every game from here on out is a must win then we can officially call the Scubs DEAD because (though I don’t like to make predictions) I do believe that with 6 weeks to go the Scubs WILL lose a game.

    How’s that for one long sentence?

  9. white rat
    #9

    on the boers and bernstein show they mentioned that they heard that hendry (the genius) had said the scrubs might be interested in going after tony and dunc next year. it doesn’t matter who’s in that dugout, everyone knows you can’t polish that turd on the north side!

  10. cardsfan
    #10

    Wow, the sheep are on the ledge. The blame game has begun, and the “Who will be a Scub next season” threads are rampant. “Fire Hendry (the genius), fire Lou, fire everyone” is running a close second, and the “Soriano sucks” crowd is gaining. Oh yeah, there’s a new Savior in town too (for next year I suppose)-Sam Fuld. The kid made two great catches, and suddenly he’s the best ever. Sheesh…

    It must really suck to be a Scub fan.

  11. cardsfan
    #11

    Good read:
    http://www.espn.go.com/chicago/columns/blog?post=4415049&name=friedell_chicago

    And oh so true. LOL

  12. soxfanforever
    #12

    LOL! I read on the cubs’ comment page someone said Lou should ask his players, “so how are you assholes gonna lose the game today?”!

    GO GO WHITE SOX AND WHOEVER PLAYS the cubs (flubs)!

  13. cardsfan
    #13

    If Lou cared. I don’t think he even knows what’s happening. The other night he went out to change pitchers and no one had been warming up. Now how does a manager not even know what’s going on in the bullpen? Yesterday he went to the mound and even the Fox announcers commented on how fat and slow he is. He’s a worthless perfect fit for the Losers.

  14. RebelSox
    #14

    Hahahaha 8 games out… rich team FAIL!

  15. hpencefan18
    #15

    That’s hilarous soxfanforever and cardsfan. Shows you what a complete fat loser Pinella is.

  16. cardsfan
    #16

    Hey hpencefan18, I told a sheep over on the Scubby board not to look back because the Stros and Brewers are gaining fast. I’d love to see the Stros knock them into 3rd and then the Brewers to put them into 4th. Would that be like icing on the cake or what?

    I’ve been saying all along that the Stros are always a danger, especially late in the season. The sheep had taken them out of the equation (before the Scubs began their implosion anyway), but I never count them out until they’re mathematically eliminated. They have an uncanny way of sneaking up and biting teams on their respective asses.

  17. cubswillchoke
    #17

    “on the boers and bernstein show they mentioned that they heard that hendry (the genius) had said the scrubs might be interested in going after tony and dunc next year.”

    That’s funny. Duncan may be a possibility, but not Tony. Duncan is pretty upset that the Cardinals got rid of Chris, but fuck him, he’s a garbage pitching coach. He can resurrect careers of guys who were already good, but destroys our pitching prospects by altering their mechanics and making them throw pitches they aren’t very good at. Pay attention to all the arm injuries Cardinal pitchers have had over the years, it makes perfect sense.

  18. ZambranoMowsMyLawn
    #18

    You have a good point cubswillchoke but Tony has already publicly said that if dunc goes then he goes. So hopefully he wont go anywhere, it wouldnt matter anyway. As much as i respect Tony im sorry to say that i dont think even he can ressurect those poor scabs.

  19. cubswillchoke
    #19

    Well yeah, I’m definitely not worried about them going to the Cubs and bringing them a world championship. Piniella has been on postseason winners before, it all comes down to the Cubs being complete choke artists (the last couple years) and now just not being very good — and it’s only going to get worse as their expensive aging contracts get older.

  20. hpencefan18
    #20

    Cardsfan-I would love nothing more than to see the stros finish ahead of the scubs. You guys have a stellar lead on the divison so the cards will probably take it. We have always been a very good 2nd half team but we may be to far back(if we can fire Cooper we could get as close to 4 or 5 games)

    Cubswillchoke: Not to talk too much about the cards but I read from the Cardinal site that Duncan is the best pitching coach in the majors. A cardinal fan said that he convinced Joel Pinero that he wasn’t a strikeout pitcher and told him to work low in the zone and get more ground ball outs and so far it’s worked out pretty well.

  21. ZambranoMowsMyLawn
    #21

    Duncan is one of the best pitching coaches that has ever been a part of the game…He and Tony will go into the hall of fame side by side probably as the best coaching team ever… The cardinals are simply running away with this division, the cubs cant even make it interesting anymore.

  22. cardsfan
    #22

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    The Scubbies keep moving in the wrong direction.

  23. white rat
    #23

    a 15-6 spanking by the nats! cavey got a homer and then forgot how to pitch. the cave-boy has been worth every penny he’s getting this year, that’s for sure. looks like he won’t top 13 wins this year either.

  24. cubswillchoke
    #24

    Anyway, here’s a good quote from northsidebaseball.com: “I remember fans on this board saying how after the playoffs last year, they won’t give a damn about the regular season and start caring when the playoffs started.”

    What’s stopping you? Feel free, no, feel ENCOURAGED to watch the playoffs this year, you might actually see a win cause the cubs will be far from it!

  25. cardsfan
    #25

    I don’t know what’s more fun, to have watched them go 0fer in 2 straight postseasons or watch them imploding with a month to go in this season. I go for the latter,(perhaps-LOL) because my team is in first, but also because the arrogant gloaters have been shut up for a while. Let them win a game or two and it will start up again, but right now it’s just too hilarious seeing the sheep with their heads down.

  26. cubswillchoke
    #26

    Oh yeah, definitely. All the flub fans at my school and whatnot that gave me a lot of shit last year (the ONE year the flubs have been good in my lifetime) are hearing it now — and they don’t like it one bit. Won’t be long now until the Cardinals magic number shrinks down to 0, and when it does hope will be restored in Wrigleyville to the tune of “wait till next year!” I’m looking forward to it.

  27. cardsfan
    #27

    As the kids would say-OMG! I got my invoice for postseason today. It’s not tempting fate, MLB requires all teams in contention to get postseason tix in order. Anyways, I got loge field boxes in row 1! Woohoo! As a partial season ticket holder I have never gotten below the 400 area tix. This is unbelievable. IF the Cards make it to postseason I will actually have great seats. Too freakin’ cool.

    Now it’s entirely up to the Cards to get me there. GO GO CARDS!!

    The Scubs suck!

  28. brewersin08
    #28

    how has everyone been lately? i havent really been paying as much attention to baseball with the brewers falling way out of it but the pursuit of the cubs is keeping me somewhat interested! how great it would be for the brewers and astros to get hot and knock the scrubs into 4th place! it will add a silver lining to this frustrating baseball season and i wont have to listen to the arrogant sheep anymore but im more focused on football

  29. brewersin08
    #29

    oh btw i hear wrigley is pretty empty tonight i guess those cubs fans aren’t as loyal as they say gosh i hate those fans i dont hate them for being cubs fans, you cheer for your team no matter how good or bad they are doing, but they annoy me so much because of how arrogant they are even though they have never won anything!

  30. cubswillchoke
    #30

    it’s pretty empty compared to what it usually is. it could be because there’s inclement weather coming, but that usually never stops the flub fans, so I’ll just agree with you and say they aren’t coming because that team is beyond pathetic.

  31. cardsfan
    #31

    The sheep will be celebrating a big win over the Nats. LMAO!

    Parker Brothers is tired of the hate coming from the sheep. He has a valid point actually. The normally docile “we’ll take anything the Scubs hand us” flock has shown some backbone when it comes to Uncle Milty. Too bad they can’t work up the same righteous anger toward the whole Scub organization instead of blindly following the Scubs and their losing tradition season after season.

    Then again, we call them sheep for a good reason.

  32. astrosfan
    #32

    howdy folks im back. had a little stay at the med center due to a stupid bitch appling her make-up while driving. motorcycles and trucks dont mix! anyway enough about me,last time i posted it seems our beloved scrubs were but a half game out. wtf!!!! look were the best team in baseball bees at now! ya gotta love it. SCRUBS TRULY BLOW

  33. cardsfan
    #33

    Welcome back. I hope you’re doing well.

    Isn’t it great to see the Scubs imploding? There is great waling and puling within the flock.

  34. soxfanforever
    #34

    Welcome back, astrosfan! What happened? Did that bitch hit you? I’m surprised she wasn’t texting! Lousy drivers are everywhere, even here in Arizona, unfortunately! They had a thing on the news out here about the dangers of texting while driving. Anyway, hope you’re all right! The flubs lose 2 of 3 to the hapless Nats, and they’re all but officially done! LMAO!

    GO GO WHITE SOX AND WHOEVER PLAYS the cubs (flubs)!

  35. RebelSox
    #35

    What? The Boystown Bombers lost the Nats series? HA! Talk about watching the 3rd highest payroll in action!

    Poor Parker Brothers… getting some racist comments thrown at him by bleacher bumfuckers! Stay classy Northside!

  36. RebelSox
    #36

    For those unfamiliar with the term, Boystown is the gay neighborhood that’s curiously close to Wrigley Field.

  37. cardsfan
    #37

    “curiously close” to the Dump…LMAO!

  38. astrosfan
    #38

    CURIOUSLY CLOSE TO THE FAN BASE!!!

  39. astrosfan
    #39

    thanks for the welcome back,ill be ok my scooters a total.got more pins in my leg than a lou pinnella voodoo doll but shit happens. man is it great to see the scrubs taken a giant shit on themselves or what. whatever happened to that fag assed capn. did he get a lifetime ban ?

  40. soxfanforever
    #40

    I’m sorry to go back on my saying I wouldn’t mention CaPSlOCk anymore, but he was removed by Webmaster, remember? I was wondering myself, admittedly, Webmaster, is he still trying to post? LOL! I can just imagine;: “LEt my POsts go through mudafucka1″, “u ARe alL jealOUS!” Or did he finally get a clue?! LMAO!

  41. soxfanforever
    #41

    Sorry, guys! I know. I couldn’t stand trying to read that goofy shit either! Yeah, astrosfan. The cap’n's posts go through a moderator, and Webmaster won’t let any of them through! The only thing, I was gonna say I’ll be back in Chicago (I live in Arizona, Phoenix area) in a couple of weeks, and I plan to be at Mc Nally’s (Sox bar) at least one night that weekend!

    GO GO WHITE SOX AND WHOEVER PLAYS the cubs (flubs)!

  42. brewersin08
    #42

    lol milton bradley is such a poor excuse for a baseball player and a human being! wah wah wah everyone hates me wah everyone wants me to fail because im black! he fits right in perfectly with the scrubs motto. instead of manning up and trying to get better he makes excuses as to why he fails. im sure he does get racist remarks from time to time though because of all the drunken idiots in the bleachers

  43. white rat
    #43

    it’s great knowing hendry (the genius) has milty badly and sorry-a-hole locked up for the next couple of years. i can see him trying to give these guys away and getting no takers. who but the scrubs would sign these losers.

  44. hpencefan18
    #44

    Mets and flubs on FOX tomorrow at the dump! Can’t wait to see it. Also can’t wait to see the Stros take to the dump and I can watch Wandy and Roy O. dominate those losers.

  45. cubswillchoke
    #45

    First of all, Milton said what nobody else would about their horrible fans at the dump. I don’t doubt for one second he’s heard some obscene and unnecessary comments out there. I used to think he was just a baby, but it has to be frustrating when you can go 4-5 and on the one at-bat that you don’t get a hit all the flub fans boo you and spit obscenities at you. Anybody who has ever been to that pile of shit with those inbred monkeys knows you’re going to hear/see some shocking vulgarity.

  46. cardsfan
    #46

    I have no doubt he’s heard everything he said, and more. Sucking up the ball field doesn’t help though. He’s every bit as bad as the Scub fans. They’re made for each other. Perfect fit.

  47. cubswillchoke
    #47

    I will concede that he’s getting what was coming to him, he’s been a piece of shit since being in the major leagues. At least now it comes at the Cubs expense lol!

  48. cardsfan
    #48

    I find it quite hilarious that the Losers have put together a “win streak” (TWO whole games no less-lmao) and yet they still can’t make up any ground. Not looking too good for the WC either with 4 teams to leapfrog.

    Is everyone else enjoying this as much as I am? Of course you are. I hope they’re dead and buried by the time they come to town in a couple of weeks.

  49. cardsfan
    #49

    This was posted THIS morning. Never say die, sheep. Sheesh…

    “* To:chicubs312

    * 3:40 AM

    * 369053.20
    * Reply to 369053.18

    * CAZONFIRE

    * CAZONFIRE
    * Posts:147

    Wait and see….this is THE year! You watch!”

  50. white rat
    #50

    will hendry (the genius) be back year? how can the new owners not retain this fine, money tossing idiot. his “cash for baseball clunkers” program is working so well!

  51. soxfanforever
    #51

    LOL! “cash for baseball clunkers!” That’s rich!!

  52. hpencefan18
    #52

    Well fellow cub haters this season is pretty much over for my stros. However, we’ll bury the flubs when we visit the dump tomorrow. Too bad we can’t have Wandy AND Roy in the first two games. Oh well, we’ll kick their sorry asses anyway.

  53. cubswillchoke
    #53

    Yeah. They win 2 games in a row against arguably the worst team in baseball and now flub fans are giddy about the wild card and the division again. Try getting more than 2 games above .500 before you worry about the postseason please.

  54. brewersin08
    #54

    every single time i see this and today is no different! i was at miller park today watching my brewers play and sure enough there were 2 cubs fans decked out in cubs gear cheering against the brewers! seriously these people are so fricken retarded that they wear their teams gear to other stadiums when their team isnt playing just so they can cheer against their rivals! i am so freaking sick of the sheep!

  55. brewersin08
    #55

    Join the Crusade Against Liltheriot!

    To:All 6:28 PM 369115.1

    SlipperyMooseCakesPosts:20

    That whiney piece of garbage is responsible for about 99% of the trolls we get, so I say we run hisasss OFF this MB for good! Whadda ya say??
    _________________________________

    lol this was from the mlb board about liltheriot the biggest whiner on the internet. even his fellow sheep have turned against him and want him gone. hes hilarious and such a hypocrite he starts 15 threads a day whining and has the balls to rip on other people for whining lol. just sheep being sheep

  56. soxfanforever
    #56

    Where is that, brewersin08? I was wondering if the cap’n isn’t posting there since he got banned from here LOL!

  57. cardsfan
    #57

    liltheriot doesn’t like me. I believe he’s put me on ignore. Sniff…

    10 games out! Fun fun fun.

  58. brewersin08
    #58

    it is on the cubs mlb.com message board. maybe liltheriot is capn we may never know and cardsfan im sure i would recognize your name over there but its funny how he whines about all the “incestrous” cards trolls when he in reality he is the one that baits most of the trolls

  59. cubswillchoke
    #59

    Astros beating up on the hapless flubs. Man this is going to be so satisfying when there are no flubs in the postseason, PERIOD

  60. cardsfan
    #60

    The sheep keep bleating about it still being possible to win the WC. One thing they seem to forget. The Scubs can’t gain ground unless they actually win. Hapless is a great description of them right now. Gotta love it.

    And brewersin08, you probably wouldn’t recognize me over there. I don’t use my regular name. Seems long ago when I registered on MLB, “cardsfan” was already taken. Imagine that!

  61. brewersin08
    #61

    no i meant if you told me who you were over there i would probably recognize your name. btw i hate it when cubs fans bring their stupidity into football. i saw someone on the cubs board post that the bears are by far the best team in the nfc and the packers are one of the worst. just moronic i still hate the vikings and their fans more though

  62. cardsfan
    #62

    You can always tell when the Scubs have imploded. Football suddenly becomes the hot topic.

    I’m siufan, one of their hated trolls.

  63. cubswillchoke
    #63

    Tell me about it brewers08. I live in northern illinois and all I hear about is the bears (I’m a rams fan), and the bears are fucking awful! I hope cutler blows out his knee and the packers finish ahead of them this year

  64. brewersin08
    #64

    i think the bears will be competitive this year. i am logical enough even as a packer fan to realize that the vikings, packers, and bears are about even right now but the cubs/bears fans seem to think they have already won the division. it will make it even sweeter if we finish ahead of them this year. sorry cubswillchoke but the rams are absolutely awful. i remember how much fun they were to watch from 99-01 but the have it rough right now

  65. cubswillchoke
    #65

    Not sure where I said the rams were any good, I just said the bears were horrible, which they are. aging defense, aging WR core, pathetic attempt to save Lovie Smith’s job by trading away the future for a whiny baby QB. I hope they fail hard.

  66. brewersin08
    #66

    i agree i dont understand why they think they will be so great. they look pretty average to me right now. football is pretty much all i care about right now since the brewers are so far out of it good luck to your rams though i hope they do well. i like them more than any other team in the nfc west

  67. cubswillchoke
    #67

    it’s a good sign when we’re talking about football on a cub hating board. means they’re just as pathetic as we’d hoped they’d be! but yea, no rams fans are expecting anything this year, or even the next — but the new regime and coaching staff certainly got things on the right track. A few more good drafts and FA signings and we’ll be a contender again (and either a resurgence by Bulger or a new f’n QB). here’s to Aaron Rodgers outperforming Favre for a second consecutive year!

  68. soxfanforever
    #68

    Forget football! Let’s talk about how my White Sox kicked some cub ass today, 5-0!!!!

    YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This make up game was worth the wait! Even if we don’t make it to the playoffs, we STILL have crosstown bragging rights for another year!

    A WHITE SOX WINNER OVER the cubs (flubs)!!!!!!!!!

  69. cubswillchoke
    #69

    …………

  70. hpencefan18
    #70

    Not only did the sox kick the flubs’ asses today but a freaking rookie shut ‘em out! Fun fun watching the flubs suck it up!

  71. cardsfan
    #71

    The sheep are whining that the Sox fans were excited about the win today. They’re saying that they acted like they had won the WS. Hypocrisy at it’s finest. the sheep act like that at every game in another team’s house. Seems they can give it, but can’t take it. WAAAAAAAAA!!

  72. brewersin08
    #72

    i was just going to post that cardsfan! hilarity at its finest man those people are so oversensitive on there. the people on the brewers board ive noticed are pretty chill and dont get so bent out of shape over the trolls. its part of the rivalry and its pretty sad that people get so angry about people trash talking on the internet in fun

  73. RebelSox
    #73

    HAHAHAHA!!! How you like that, Scrubs fans??? Can’t say shit if you’ve got your mouths filled with Southsider cack!!!

    I almost miss putting “Guest” and “Cap’n” in their place after their gay-ass team gets humiliated.

  74. soxfanforever
    #74

    cardsfan, I didn’t see any of the flub fans whining about the Sox fans, but I did see on the cubs.com comments a lot of pissing and whining about sorryano and piniella this, hendry that, sorry’s gotta go, bradley sucks. LMAO! nothing but pissing, whining, blaming and excuses!

    GO GO WHITE SOX AND WHOEVER PLAYS the cubs (flubs)!

  75. OKCRay
    #75

    It never ceases to amaze me how these Cub fan sheep think they can get away with all of their trash-talking. Hey at least Yankee fans, Red Sox fans, Cardinal fans and even Florida Marlins fans have earned the right to trash-talk.

    sCrUB fans, get back to me when your team actually WINS something (aside from some mythical “attendance” or “tv ratings” championship that you all seem so fixated about) for a change.

  76. cubswillchoke
    #76

    Cubbies making a bid for the most consecutive scoreless offensive innings by a major league team lol!

  77. cardsfan
    #77

    The sheep are so despondent that it’s not even fun to yank their chains anymore.

    Just kidding! I’ll never stop piling on the trash. I can’t WAIT til the next Cards/Scubs series. I hope they’re 20 games out by then. Either that, or the Cards clinch that weekend. Either one will be fun fun fun.

    Hoist the “L” flag! The Scubs lose again!

  78. soxfanforever
    #78

    LOL! The flubs’ tragic number is now 16!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.