New Cubs Anthem

We had one of our favorite contributors to Cubs Suck Club give us a new Chicago Cubs Anthem. Enjoy!

“BACK IN THE CELLAR AGAIN.”

(These are original lyrics meant to be sung to the tune of “Back In The Saddle Again” which was famous cowboy movie star Gene Autry’s theme song and the title of his book he wrote in 1976.)

Verse #1:

We’re back in the cellar again,

Back where we knew it would end,

The fans are in a funk,

Theo’s shorts are in a bunch,

Can’t seem to find our ass with both hands.

We look’in but cannot find a win,

Our pitching staff is older than sin,

Riz can’t hit to save his life,

Russell’s whopping on his wife,

And Bryant’s hitting lollypop’s again.

Refrain:

Whoopi-ty-aye-oh, Maddon’s gotta go . . . we’re back in the cellar again
Whoopi-ty-aye-yay, we simply cannot play . . . we’re back in the cellar again

Verse #2:

The Tribune’s all over our case,

Harry Caray’s rolling over in his grave,

Schwarber’s swollen to four-ten,

Darvish isn’t worth a yen,

The crowd’s a-throw’in Old Style’s again.

Where this ends no one can know or tell,

The trade’in block’s as crowded as the “L”

Twenty-sixteen was just a fluke,

Lester makes us wanna puke,

And Kimbrel can’t save us from ourselves.

Refrain:

Whoopi-ty-aye-oh, Maddon’s gotta go . . . we’re back in the cellar again
Whoopi-ty-aye-yay, just like yesterday . . . we’re back in the cellar again

Verse #3:

The Cardinals are headed for the top,

No tell’in how far the Cub’ll drop,

The Cubby-Bear won’t give us credit,

Murphy’s Bleachers think’s we’re pathetic,

We’re back in the cellar again.