The following post is the first of many from the Cubs Suck Club LONE Chicago Cubs fan… BuckeyeCub will be blogging here regularly and giving his outlook on the Cubs suckiness from a diehard Cubs fan perspective.  Comments are encouraged.

Jim Hendry is a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and his butt smells and he likes to kiss his own butt. That’s right. Jim Hendry sucks. Cubs management believes in their GM because he has delivered 3 division titles under his reign, something no one else has done for the Cubs. So because Hendry is the tallest midget, he’s all of a sudden the greatest thing since sliced bread? I don’t think so. Sure Hendry has made some good moves like getting Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez for nothing, but the Marlins and Pirates were looking to unload their salaries. The only good moves I can think of that he has made that weren’t because a small market team was holding a fire sale are when he got Nomar for next to nothing, in what was supposed to be the final piece to a World Series winner in 2004, and when he performed his own version of Brock-for-Broglio, getting Eric Karros and Mark Grudzelanik in return for Todd Hundley. Hendry has made a lot more idiotic moves than good moves in his time on the North Side. A couple of moves the last couple of years stand out to me more than anything, and should be reason to fire him.

After the July 31 trade deadline, when teams place everyone on waivers to see what activity takes place, the Minnesota Twins claimed Rich Harden. Knowing that Harden would not be back in 2010, Hendry decided that since he didn’t get a trade offer to his liking, the equivalent of the draft picks he would have gotten back, that he would pull Harden from waivers. However, come winter, Hendry decided not to offer Harden arbitration for fear that Harden would accept it. So you pull him off waivers because you feel you can get more for him by letting him walk and taking the draft picks, but you feel that he will accept arbitration? Then why don’t you let him go to the Twins when they put in the claim? The team was not in a playoff race, you save about a million bucks, and let a prospect audition for 2010, and as an added bonus, you do the White Sox a disservice.

However, the worst move Hendry ever made was signing Milton Bradley and the events surrounding his arrival and departure. After the Cubs were swept by the Dodgers in the 2008 playoffs, Hendry felt the team needed to get more left-handed because they didn’t face a single left-handed pitcher from the Dodgers. This was an over-reaction. The 2008 Cubs team was one of the best in the majors. At the end of the day, they don’t look at whether a batter is right-handed or left-handed, they look at did he get on base, and score runs or drive runs in. And the 2008 Cubs did that with great efficiency in 2008.

Not only was this move an overreaction, but let’s just say that fine, Hendry is right, the team needs to get more left-handed. Why would you sign Milton Bradley, who is an injury and character risk? The most games Bradley had ever played in a season was 126, which he did in 2008, and most of them at DH. Memo to Jim Hendry: The NL doesn’t use the DH. Bobby Abreu and Adam Dunn were available and would have cost the same as Bradley, or less, guys who are more dependable in every aspect than Bradley. The argument about Adam Dunn’s defense is laughable. He more than makes up for it with his bat. And I love everyone’s arguments that he is a strikeout machine. Adam Dunn is one of the most disciplined hitters in the game, his OBP is constantly better than that of a lot of .300 hitters. And if you don’t want Dunn, why not Bobby Abreu? He can hit and he has good defense, and would have been cheaper than Hasbro. Hendry completely fucked this up. And who wouldn’t want Dunn? He’s a freaking beast. In 2005, he hit 40 HRs with a broken hand, and he’s the only player to ever hit a home run that landed in another state. And you put Adam Dunn in the Cubs lineup between Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez, and that is a very scary 3-4-5.

Although in the end Hendry came out ahead by getting rid of Bradley early in the off-season and not being held hostage like he was with Sosa in 2004-05 and cutting his bill, he should still lose his job over this. He has made too many fuck-ups, and this should have been the final nail in the coffin. I rest my case: Jim Hendry is a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and his butt smells and he likes to kiss his own butt.

“Sure Wish Somebody Would Invent Something To Keep The Sun Out Of My Eyes.”

You Can’t Fix Stupid

So this years Chicago Cubs team is just sucking so bad and so often it’s impossible to keep up.  We want to recap this last weeks events in one post and show all you haters just how sucky things are getting for the Lovable Losers and their fans.

• Crazy, moronic, Cub sheep (errr fan) decides it would be cool to dump beer on Shane Victorino’s head. Unfortunately, Shane and the rest of the world didn’t think this was such a great idea.  Victorino filed charges on this dude.  This guy fled the stadium and later turned himself in.  Now, only at Wrigley would you see this type of crap.  The drunk fans that have no clue or care how the team is doing… They just want to stir something up.  Typical Cub fan.  We stayed away from this story quite a bit but Deadspin pounded it.  So here are some links about this pathetic excuse for a baseball fan.

Stay Classy
Beer-Tossing
Confronted
Inspiration

So who is going to make us a Cubs Suckcessory out of this idiots picture!  I can think of some creative sayings.

• Gregg implodes again and loses closer role. It was becoming almost comical when Kevin Gregg would enter the game in a Cubs 9th inning game.  This dude would give up walks, runs, homeruns, and most importantly, GAMES!  Every single time this guy would make it interesting.  Gregg is horrible and should have been out as the Cubs closer last month… Ok, well he never should have been the closer but that is besides the fact.  Finally, last week after Gregg gave up another one of his notorious walk-off homeruns – Lou and crew pulled the plug on Gregg as the closer and are now going with Marmol.  Yeah because he has been so much better.  Must suck to have a sucky bullpen!
• Carlos Zambrano has been lazy? I don’t have much to say but read this quote and tell me why the Cubs and Zambrano DON’T SUCK!

“My problem is I’ve been lazy,” a contrite Zambrano said. “There are things in life you don’t like to do, but you have to do them. I don’t like abs [abdominal muscle workouts], but I have to do them. I have to start doing them every day and be serious about it.”

Doctors are convinced stronger abdominal muscles will ease the pain on back discs, one of which is bulging and has caused Zambrano pain on and off for a few years.

“I’ve got to be honest with me and with you [media] guys and the fans. I’m 28 years old, I’m not 16 anymore,” Zambrano said. “I’m a big guy and I work hard every day, [but] one of the things I don’t like to do is my abs, my core work. If I do abs every day and keep doing my job and be serious about my abs, I’ll be OK.”

• Sweet Lou gets nailed for jaywalking. Ok so he didn’t get nailed but Lou Piniella got a “warning” for jaywalking in San Diego.  Hilarious!
• The Cubs are now down 6 games. It seems they can’t beat anyone and the Cardinals can beat everyone.  They just struggled with the Padres and now have to face the Dodgers for a series.  UH OH.  It’s do or die (ok, DIE) time for the Chubs this weekend.  They get down more than 6 games and we’ll all be shouting, “THEY GONE!”   And you lovable Cubs sheep will be crying about all the injuries and how we will now have to “wait til next year.”  It’s a broken record.  But hey, at least you have a song to make you feel better every now and then.  LOL!

Pile it on Cubs haters!

So did you Cub haters see that crap last night?  What a classless little jerk Soriano has become.  He hits a grandslam in the 3th inning or whatever, and instead of being classy and simply running around the bases, he does some stupid point.  Puts his hand over his face and does some terrible Michael Jackson impression.  Completely shows up the Astros pitcher and entire Astros team for that matter.  If I were Roy Oswalt I would plunk that dude so hard on his first at bat.  Give him some chin music and make him think.  What’s even worse is this dude has been terrible.  Soriano has never lived up to the expectations he had when the Cubs signed him for bagillions of dollars.

So did anyone see that?  I need some youtube of it if anyone can find it.  We’ll post it!  So anyone think we could see some fireworks tonight in Chicago?  I could see Soriano getting plunked and I hope he does!  Step up Oswalt!

It’s time to start ramping up a little for the 2009 Cubs baseball season.  Check out this great video about how the Cubs fans fit into the “Stupid” category.

Here is the link to the Cubs video