Cubs Joke: Guy and Virgin Girl Get Married

The following Cubs Suck joke was sent to us via Facebook.

A guy gets married and is waiting for his wife on his honeymoon. She walks out of the bathroom in a flimsy little lingerie and says, “Now be gentle, I’m a virgin.” The guy says, “I’m your fourth husband….how can you be a virgin?” The woman says, “Well, my first husband turned out to be gay and he wouldn’t do it. My second husband was an acoholic and he couldn’t do it. And my third husband was a Cub fan. He kept saying, ‘Wait till next year…wait till next year!’

Cardinals Sweep Cubs – Zambrano Embarrassed of 2011 Team

As the days go, the pages continue to be  written about how bad the Chicago Cubs organization sucks.  Is Zambrano finally realizing what the rest of the world already knows?  This team is EMBARRASSING to the rest of the world of baseball.  To us it’s humorous.  To fans, owners, players – it’s embarrassing.  Ok first things first!  SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!  The Cardinals took care of business this weekend in St. Louis and swept the Cubs.

Pujols Back to Back Walkoffs

It’s no secret that Albert Pujols has not been himself this year.  But this series against the Cubs he was alive!  Saturday’s game was a hard fought game.  The Chubbies showed a little fight.  Bottom 11 rolls around and Albert Pujols comes to the plate.  BOOOOOOM.  Outta here.  Walkoff homerun.  Cubs lose!

So after this game manager of the Cubs, Quade, or whatever the heck his name is said he wouldn’t let Pujols beat them again.  At least not for 24 hours.  Ha.  Pujols comes up AGAIN in Sundays game.  Nobody on.  Nobody out.  Game tied in the bottom of the 10th.  So timeout here.  I just laid out the situation for you.  What do you do if you are manager?

  1. Make it very very clear to your pitcher to NOT give Pujols anything to hit?
  2. Intentionally walk him because you know you will be roasted if Pujols beats you again?
  3. Groove a fastball and hope for the best?

Ding Ding Ding.  #3 is the winner.  Pujols destroyed a perfect hitters pitch over the fences for his second walkoff in as many days.  Take a look!

Zambrano Embarrassed By 2011 Cubs

So after the game the fiery Carlos Zambrano clearly wasn’t happy with how things turned out for the sorry Cubs. Listen in to how embarrassed he is with this 2011 Cubs team.

Cubs Suck – The End

I’ll leave you with one thing. That’s 6 in a row losses. It’s pretty safe to start saying, “Wait til Next Year.” Cubs Suck and get your brooms out!!!

This Cubbie Bear Ain’t Gonna Make It

I have no idea why this video is hilarious to me. It’s simple in nature but hilarious in concept. Enjoy and thanks for posting this on our Facebook fan page Cub haters!

Even Jesus Hates the Cubs

We got plenty of proof that even Jesus hates the Cubs…  First of all – a nice joke.

What did Jesus say to the Cubs before he left?

Don’t do anything until I get back!

Now for a couple images that are awesome proof that Jesus truly does hate the Chicago Cubs.

jesus-hates-cubs

first-assembley-jesus-cubs

Cubs Are the Biggest Joke on April Fools Opening Day

Was it a coincidence that Major League Baseball scheduled the Chicago Cubs opening day on APRIL FOOLS DAY?  I don’t think so.  The most laughable team in the entire league opened up at home against the “expected” worst team in baseball – Pittsburgh Pirates.  And in typical CUBBIE fashion – they got beatdown by the Pirates.  6-3 was the final score… You Cub fans wish this was an April Fools Day joke but it’s not.  They did.  Really.  Lose to the Pirates on Opening Day.  YIKES.

So 2011 could be another terrible year for the Cubs.  P.S. – they are losing again today 3-0 to the Pirates.  HAHA.  0-162 a legit possibility?

CUBS SUCK!!! Thanks for reading!