Theo’s League Off to Slow Start

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

We’re singing the Cubs SUCK, the Cubs BLOW – hey Chicago, what do ya say, let’s fly the L today! Oh my goodness, the 2019 season could not have gotten off to a better start. After Cub fans lost their load after the first game of the season when the Cubs actually won a game, Theo’s League has been an absolute disaster since then.

Cub Fans absolutely worship the pants that Theo wears. It’s Theo’s League, and his bullpen sucked last season, and it’s even worse this season. HAHAHAHAHA. As if the starting pitchers were any good, the bullpen was incredibly worse.

First – the starting pitchers. Keep in mind – this is the Texas Freaking Rangers. The team most predicted to finish DEAD LAST in the American League West. OUCH. The starting pitchers only went 13.2 innings in three games. How about Yu Darvish basically walking the world in his opening start? LOL. They allowed 12 hits, 10 runs, walked 12 betters (12!) and gave up 3 homeruns. Okay – that’s not very good.

But, the bullpen. Thanks to hapless losers like Pedro Strop, Carl Edwards Jr, Mike Montgomery and Tyler Chatwood – these are the numbers the Cubs pen threw up there. Again – this is the Texas freaking Rangers!

The bullpen threw 11.2 innings(on pace for like 7.6M this season). During that time, they allowed 16 hits, 12 runs, walked 8 batters and allowed 4 homeruns. Good lord almighty, that’s terrible.

Hey – have no fear – Kyle Hendricks(who also sucks) pitches on Monday. FLY THE L!

-When the Cubs Lose, America Wins!