David Ross is Already a Puppet

January 17, 2020

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In a cute turn of events, David Ross – the new puppet – errr – manager of the Chicago Cubs met with the media yesterday. Of course, all the things he said, most of them didn’t make any sense, but the cutest part was the puppet, errr manager saying “I feel we have a World Series caliber team”.. Now, THAT is funny. A World Series caliber team? This team didn’t even make the postseason a season ago!

Among the other things the puppet, err manager said – “Kris Bryant will be part of the team in 2020”. Dude doesn’t even ACT like he wants to be there. Are the Cubs now keeping him, because they are finding out that he is damaged goods and no one wants him?

He spoke on the cheating that is going on in Major League Baseball. Come on, dude. You can’t act like you weren’t part of that. You just happened to catch up to a pitch in the World Series and hit a homerun? Dude was a bad player all his life, and then he happened to go deep on the biggest stage? David Ross is one of the biggest cheaters in all of baseball.

Then, finally – let’s stop Cub fans. Saying the stuff about winning the World Series the right way? Remember – Theo basically sold his ENTIRE soul to grab a very large domestic abuser in Aroldis Chapman. Give us a freaking break. Plus, Addison Russell was a key part to that flukey title winning team. Just stop already…

That brings us to the question – which Chicago Cubs 2016 member did NOT cheat? Let’s hear it…. We expect crickets..

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