Jeff Samardzija Should Change His Name to Jeff Sasuckzidja

April 20, 2010


The following is from the Cubs Suck Club LONE Chicago Cubs fan… BuckeyeLakerCub will be blogging here regularly and giving his outlook on the Cubs suckiness from a diehard Cubs fan perspective.  Comments are encouraged.

I hate Jeff Samardzija. That’s right. I hate Samardzija. Or should I say Sasuckzidja. This guy does not belong in the majors. I don’t think he even belongs in single-A. He is a terrible pitcher. He is an idiot for choosing baseball over football. And Jim Hendry is a dope for giving him a $10 million contract with a no-trade clause. The only reason Sasuckzidja was able to do this is because he was a cult legend WR at Notre Dame and he could throw heat. This blinded Hendry to the fact that a 99 mph fastball is all Sasuckzidja can throw.

And apparently, Samardzija felt so strongly about his abilities to make it in MLB, that he put into his contract with the Cubs that if he goes to the NFL during his 5-year contract, he will return his entire signing bonus. Samardzija does not belong in MLB. But Cubs fans are blind to his massive ERA, because they love him. They love him, because most Cubs fans are Notre Dame fans, and he was a cult legend at Notre Dame. Quite frankly, he wasn’t very good at football until he got a coach who was aided by a spying camera with the Patriots, fat fuck Charlie Weis. Being an Ohio State fan, I am not blinded by his career at Notre Dame, as I hate Notre Dame, except when they are playing Michigan or USC.

I wish Samardzija would just leave the Cubs and join the Bears. That would make 2 teams better at once. On second thought, since I hate him so much, I wish he would join the Packers or Vikings so that Urlacher and Briggs can level him. Once Samardzija’s 5 year contract expires, he is going to be gone from baseball, and won’t have an NFL future either. He should have stuck with the NFL. He would have made more money and had more success, and then I wouldn’t hate him so much.

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