We had one of our favorite contributors to Cubs Suck Club give us a new Chicago Cubs Anthem. Enjoy!

“BACK IN THE CELLAR AGAIN.”

(These are original lyrics meant to be sung to the tune of â€œBack In The Saddle Again” which was famous cowboy movie star Gene Autry’s theme song and the title of his book he wrote in 1976.)

Verse #1:

We’re back in the cellar again,

Back where we knew it would end,

The fans are in a funk,

Theo’s shorts are in a bunch,

Can’t seem to find our ass with both hands.

We look’in but cannot find a win,

Our pitching staff is older than sin,

Riz can’t hit to save his life,

Russell’s whopping on his wife,

And Bryant’s hitting lollypop’s again.

Refrain:

Whoopi-ty-aye-oh, Maddon’s gotta go . . . we’re back in the cellar again
Whoopi-ty-aye-yay, we simply cannot play . . . we’re back in the cellar again

Verse #2:

The Tribune’s all over our case,

Harry Caray’s rolling over in his grave,

Schwarber’s swollen to four-ten,

Darvish isn’t worth a yen,

The crowd’s a-throw’in Old Style’s again.

Where this ends no one can know or tell,

The trade’in block’s as crowded as the “L”

Twenty-sixteen was just a fluke,

Lester makes us wanna puke,

And Kimbrel can’t save us from ourselves.

Refrain:

Whoopi-ty-aye-oh, Maddon’s gotta go . . . we’re back in the cellar again
Whoopi-ty-aye-yay, just like yesterday . . . we’re back in the cellar again

Verse #3:

The Cardinals are headed for the top,

No tell’in how far the Cub’ll drop,

The Cubby-Bear won’t give us credit,

Murphy’s Bleachers think’s we’re pathetic,

We’re back in the cellar again.